I’m exhausted. Today really tried me.
I’m sorry; I don’t mean to be rude. Good evening, Pops. How are you doing today? I guess I know the response to that. You’re chill, just there being God, watching me type out these thoughts to you.
Today, I choose to rant. Because I am not fine.
One minute I'm dealing with the sun trying to turn me into Suya, and the next minute I'm pursuing Danfo buses that give me free cardiomuscular exercises daily. It feels like we unlock new levels of difficulty every day.
Ike agwulam. O ti sun mi. I'm tired.
How do you bother dealing with Nigerian humans?
I can’t stand them. I really can’t. Let me tell you about my day.
I watched myself apologize to a lady for doing her job today when clearly she opted for the role and is being paid for it. I had to entice her to do her job by getting her a bunch of bananas, all the while apologizing and encouraging her to do the only thing she is paid for.
I want to imagine being you for a moment. I don’t think it’s possible sha because, unlike you, the thoughts I think towards men are not of good. I don’t have an expected end for them.
Nigerian humans are insufferable. I'm tired of being Nigerian.
There are some good ones there, though.
Like the lady who helped me search for my file and ensured I had all documents in check.
Like my unofficially adopted big brother, who pep-talked me into getting work done today.
Like the Keke driver who went out of his way to ensure I didn’t stand in the sun longer than necessary.
But you see that woman who sold 3 agbalumos for #500 or the people at Surulere who sold a sheet of A4 paper for #50...
Dada, Capri Sun is now #250, and Happy Happy has just 10 pieces of biscuits in it. Famous Amos is about #800, and Fox Cookies are no longer a daily luxury.
This is not the life you called me to live. This was not our bargain.
At least I finished one book today. I can say I'm on my 6th book for the month🙂.
I have just one request, though:
Since you own the cattle on a thousand hills, and by extension, I am your heir, can you give me one to sell so I can buy Capri Sun tonight? And maybe some Fox cookies.
P.S. If you could also do something about the inflated prices of biscuits, that would be great.
Signed
Dada’s (Slightly Sunburnt, Super Stressed, CapriSun-Starved) Daughter